Clark Brooks's Page

Still sick

Is that an alto in your cumulus or are you just happy to see me?

A picture is worth something or other

Look at the baby! So cute! Hard to believe that the innocent little cherub in this photo would go on to become a mild-mannered boy from the Midwest that moved to Tampa and fell in with a crowd of sexy, fast talkin' city ladies who got his poor head all a-jumbled.

Awww! Baby bath in the sink! Classic! Doesn't that make you want to just pinch my buttcheeks? Well, good news; you still can! Just send me a self addressed stamped postcard explaining why I should let you pinch my buttcheeks and if you're a lucky winner, I'll let you do it! Or just come up to me and do it whenever you want. Either way is good.

Halloween was always a special time to show off just how gosh-darned cute I was.

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me!

Ribbit! Ha ha! Froggy fun!

But hey, don't get the idea that my childhood was all bubble baths and cute costumes, because it wasn't, okay?

I had challenges to deal with...

...unique obstacles to overcome.

But who doesn't, right? I can't complain. Overall, it was a pretty great childhood. We had family pets...

This is Whiskers McPounce-A-Lot, my pet kitty cat. One day, men from the government showed up in a special van and asked my dad if he knew anything about a bunch of goats that had been slaughtered in the neighborhood. My dad talked to the men out in the garage where I couldn't hear them and right after that, Whiskers ran away from home. What a strange coincidence. We were sad, but dad cheered us up when he told us the government men had come to give us some money because they wanted us to go to Deer Forest on vacation that year!

This is Mr. Scribbles, our pet chimpanzee. Mr. Scribbles taught me the secret of how to throw really hard and really fast. But all the other kids in the neighborhood had a real problem with getting feces on their hands so nobody wanted me on their baseball teams.

By the time I was becoming a teenager, I had a reputation for being something of a fancy lad...

Something I carried with me into high school...

...and eventually, like many troubled teenagers, I got into some dark and disturbing occult stuff.

I grew out of it (thank goodness) but I was still subject to going along with the fads of the day...

In 1979, "10" with Bo Derek came out. My skin condition cleared up in time for 1980...

...when "Urban Cowboy" was all the rage.

High school was a formative time for me, as it is for everyone. But I didn't stop exploring new things, new ideas, new ways to express myself...

For a while, in the late '80s, I was the lead singer for a Tom Petty tribute band called "Petty Theft". We were sued out of existence on the grounds that we were (in the eyes of the law and a jury of our so-called peers, I guess) "godawful".

Then, of course you remember the year I spent defending the planet from aliens as Dynaman, right? Right? Oh, come on! Earth on the brink of being destroyed? All humans taken captive to serve as slave labor in the riboflavin mines on planet Hamnick-Yelkl? Nobody remembers any of that. Everybody remembers Mookie Wilson hitting a grounder that went between Bill Buckner's legs in game 6 of the '86 World Series but nobody ever seems to remember the whole year I spent defending the earth from aliens as Dynaman?!? Such bullshit from you people.

Anyway, here I am today, happy and relaxed in Florida with Rhonda, my personal assistant. Literally: this picture was taken today, right outside my corporate suite at Clark Brooks, LLC. Hmm, looks like Rhonda has been skipping too many meals. I think I'll tell her to whip up some pot roast and mashed potatoes for dinner tonight.

And what does the future hold?
Well, it all depends on the continuing development of my new exo-skeleton...

...but I'm pretty excited about it.

Everybody's a critic

• I wake up, take care of any prescient *ahem* hygiene issues, start coffee, turn on music and sit down at the computer.
• I do on-line chores (balance check book, read email, look at Twitter, do FarmVille...I didn't say they were all real chores).
• Then I start writing.
• Soon, I'm joined by my little mama kitty cat (mother to three babies, who are all grown up and all still live with me), who may or may not choose to contribute by walking back and forth across the keyboard a couple of times (which has produced such brilliant prose as "jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj") before climbing on top of the monitor, getting comfortable and letting the waves of my creativity wash over her, accompanied by my mastery of the keyboard until she is in a completely blissed-out, contented, peaceful, zen trance.

That's most days.

And then, there are days like this:

It's Bammer Time!

You've talked openly about dealing with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and other disorders and worked that into your material. You also furnish helpful links on your web site to resources for people seeking help with similar problems. Do you get feedback from people who see you as an advocate on their behalf?
I've gotten a few people write or tell me after shows that they have OCD or have been through a bad depression or had a friend or family member who had those problems and that it helped to hear that someone else out there had similar problems. The reason I put links up or talk about it is because it helps ME. Help me to help me, help me, help you, help me. It helps me to feel like I'm not alone (if people laugh at the material) and that I might be at all useful. The internet helped me find resources to fix this OCD problem I had for two decades and so, I figure, if it helps anybody, then, AWESOME.

Did you pick a side in Conan vs Leno?
Harrumph. I guess I picked Conan because Leno made a promise and the New York crew had all moved their families to LA and it just seemed so ridiculous, like, wouldn't you WANT to move on to a new format of show? And, Leno is less my sense of humor, though he's obviously really great at what he does. But, it's also business and business isn't personal to everyone. I like to know about numbers, but I hope that isn't everything. Oh well.

"The Maria Bamford Show" on SuperDeluxe (which is available in it's entirety in Maria's most recent album "Unwanted Thoughts Syndrome"); did you develop that concept as a web series or did it start out as someting else? I think it would have made a great movie.
It was a one-person show that I performed over a period of 3 years. Thanks for thinking about it as a movie. That's nice.

How long did it take to shoot and produce that series?
We made one a week, so, about 3 months.

How big a production was it (how many people involved?)
Two; myself and Damon (Jones) and then, we'd get notes from Superdeluxe, Dan Pasternack, who's now an executive at the Independent Film Channel.

Do you write every day?
I write these "Morning Pages" most every day, three pages of whatever is in my brain. I take a lot of days off and vacation from comedy and work, so in terms of writing jokes, I usually only write on work days, Monday through Friday or when I have shows out of town.

Do you write new material for your stand-up act exclusively or are there other projects you're developing?
Right now, yes, only for stand-up. I'd like to be a part of a greater project. I am going to be in a Sony Webbisode series with the Sklar Brothers. And I think of ideas sometimes, but haven't had the desire to go out there and PITCH.

For many comedians, the career arc to success seems to follow a path: successful stand-up --> sitcom --> book. Is that by design or does it just seem to work out that way?

A question I ask of every person I meet from Minnesota: What's Prince like?
This is all hearsay, but he is tiny. Pay it forward.

Growing up, did you have a mentor or role model who encouraged your creativity?
The Theatre teacher, Mr. Blackburn, this creative kids program in grade school and my parents always were pumped for whatever we were doing.

Did you listen to stand-up comedians when you were growing up? If so, any that you would consider influences
Steve Martin and Eddie Murphy and Prairie Home Companion were listened to regularly- and we watched Saturday Night Live every weekend. I still listen to PHC and watch SNL.

Do you still play the violin?
No! I let it go six years ago; finally accepted that I don't enjoy it.

How important do you think utilizing "social media" is for artists in general and comedians in particular?
I used to send out postcards and hand them out to people and now, people can find things out through friends more easily. I think it's important, but it also depends on what your vision or goals are. Maybe you're a steampunk comedian and you only find about about your shows through the Islamic Muezzin's call to prayer.

You gave fans a free special performance as a download for Christmas. I didn't get you anything in return. If I had, what would you have liked?
A couple of chickens.

Many comedy clubs have "wacky" names. If you owned a club, what would you call it?
The Broads-way- LA's Only Ladies Only Comedy Club!

Maria will be at The Improv in Ybor City Thursday, March 11th thru Sunday, the 14th. You can get info on specific show times by squinting really hard at the picture above or by simply clicking here (where you can also purchase tickets). You can learn much, much more about what Maria's doing, including other upcoming appearances, at her official web site.